I should try this the next time someone asks to use my phone 😛
Tina: My phone is broken. Can I use yours to make a call? Wally: Absolutely. If it seems warm, that’s because I was using it in the men’s room for the past two hours. Tina: I’ll ask someone else. Wally: Yup.
Source: Tina Wants To Borrow Wally’s Phone – Dilbert Comic Strip on 2017-05-01 | Dilbert by Scott Adams
Tine: I hear you have some vacation days coming. Planning anything big? Dilbert: I plan to catch up on all the work I couldn’t get done here because people keep interrupting me. Tina: That’s a sad vacation. Dilbert: Then why am I craving it right now?
Source: Craving Vacation – Dilbert Comic Strip on 2017-03-15 | Dilbert by Scott Adams
Boss: Our company spokesperson embarrassed us on social media. Does this qualify him for an “honor killing?”
Asok: No, and you’re a racist.
Boss: Here’s what he said on social media.
Asok: Okay, I’m in.
Source: Asok Agrees To Be Hit Man – Dilbert Comic Strip on 2016-12-13 | Dilbert by Scott Adams
Wally: How’s it feel to be the hardest-working employee in engineering?
Alice: I feel tired, sore, exhausted, sick, angry, stressed out, and lonely.
Wally: You probably don’t want to know how good it feels to be useless.
Source: How It Feels To Be Useless – Dilbert Comic Strip on 2015-11-03 | Dilbert by Scott Adams
I know from past experience how Alice is feeling. ^_^