No walk today as I was back in the office for one day this week. With the 25degC heat, it was not a pleasant journey. I tried to offset it by using only the airconditioned trains route (Thameslink, Great Northern, District/Circle) but that didn’t make it much more comfortable.
Still topped my step count for the day, as I normally do for the commute.
I started this post over a year ago, then abandoned it and though perhaps its high time I actually finished it.
You may recall I lost my uncle to cancer in October 2017 and felt I should write down the phases of dealing with the death
Stage 0 — Normality
This is the normal day-to-day life no indication of any problems in the future
Stage 1 — Terminal
This is where you or your loved one is diagnosed with an illness that cannot (normally) be recovered from.
Stage 2 — Death & Disbelief
Immediately after death, this starts. You run through a period of “this can’t be happening”, “this has got to be a dream” and keep wanting to wake up from the nightmare, even though it isn’t one.
Stage 3 — Guilt & Denial
After you’ve gotten past the “this can’t be happening”, you get to “this isn’t happening” — you don’t want to believe this is true and refuse to believe this is true. Also, you start second-guessing yourself thinking “did I do everything I could to save them?” “could I have done something differently?” “could they still be alive had I picked up on that symptom just a day earlier?”
This stage lasts the longest, and to some, the guilt consumes their lives
Stage 4 — Acceptance
The hardest stage to reach is acceptance. You accept the death and move on. Some keep a piece of the loved one with them — a piece of jewellery, a photo, a locket, a favourite song — something that lets them remember them going forward or when they want the feeling of warm, loving memories.
Where am I on this list? Stage 4. I have photos of my uncle in Google Photos I can look back on whenever I want to remember him. I have pictures of him playing with my cousin’s children; I have fond memories of playing poker with him (and me losing :-) ); I have memories of having drinks with him — he was an alchoholic, but really was loose when drinking. I remember that I also didn’t know him as well as I thought I did. His drinking buddy took the pedestal at his funeral and told about how he donated food from his KFC-style shop to people at the pub.
I really did not know my uncle as well as I thought I did.
I’ve been slacking logging my walks lately, so apologies for that.
This was should have been logged yesterday. It was very hot, so much that I didn’t even need to worry about wearing a jacket or anything while walking, and perhaps I should have worn sunglasses, it was that bright.
In other news, my laptop seems like it’s on its way out so I have got a replacement and an upgrade, and spent Saturday trying to set it up but clonezilla seems to be having trouble registering the partition labels. I had already purchased a 2TB NVME so instead of cloning then restoring, I cross-device cloned directly, making the 2TB disk exactly the same as the 1TB, but with the space at the end of the disk which I will use for Ubuntu.
Then took the rest of the day downloading my games from Steam. Warframe and Stellaris are the main ones I’ve been downloading
Streaming also seems fine, with only a slight fps drop.